Donald Trump’s favorite conspiracy theorist, Robert Kennedy JR, has promised to make tin foil hats mandatory for all Americans, should Trump win the Presidency.

”We can’t have good honest Americans walking around with their thoughts unprotected,” said Robert Kennedy Jr. ”They’re sitting ducks, why as we speak those evil chaps at Major League Baseball are scanning our brains as we speak.”

”Jokes on them though, I trained myself to not think years ago.”

When asked what he was basing his ideas on, like banning of fluoride, the brain worm, err, Mr Kennedy said: ”My ideas are based on some of the finest YouTube videos and blogs known to Man.”

”Why I read a fascinating blog on the effects of Fluoride from a great mind, SpankyBottom469, they will definitely be high up in President Trump’s cabinet.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s getting late and I don’t want to risk being abducted or probed by Aliens, again.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

Categories: World

Tags: Adultery, aliens, America, Area 52, Brain Worm, Conspiracy Theory, Cuckoo, Donald Trump, Election, Fluoride, JFK, Kennedy, Obesity, POTUS, Robert Kennedy JR, satire, Tin Foil hat, USA, whale