NRL supremo, Peter ‘the man of feathers’ V’Landys, has spent NRL Grand final week on the phone trying to find an entertainer to replace Teddy Swims, after the singer had to cancel due to illness.

”We thought that we had this sorted when Ray Hadley put his hand up,” said the man of feathers. ”But, then we told Ray that he couldn’t use any ethnic slurs in his act and he was out.”

”Slim’s dead, Gary Glitter’s cancelled, things are looking dire, we might have to break the glass and have Barnesy again.”

When asked what he was looking for in a Grand final act, the man of feathers said: ”At this stage anyone with a pulse, heck give me a hologram and I’ll forego the pulse.”

”A grand final act should attract attention, good or bad, there’s no such publicity as bad publicity.”

”Unless of course the publicity is around a player, a sex act and some sort of animal, then there’s bad publicity.”

”Trust me, we’ve been there and had to deal with that a few times.”

”Don’t suppose you have Nikki Webster’s number do you?”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Sport

Tags: Broncos, Entertainment, Jimmy Barnes, Man Of Feathers, nrl, Peter V'Landys, Ray Hadley, Roy and HG, satire, Slim Dusty, Snoop Dogg, storm, Sydney, Teddy Swims