Former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has taken some time out from rewriting Australian history to offer some advice to beleaguered opposition leader, Sussan Ley. His advice, to consider knighting Prince Andrew.

”Everyone loves a Royal, so why not bestow upon them some more honours,” said the former PM. ”Poor Prince Andrew, he’s having a bit of a rough trot at the moment.”

”It reminds me of my dear friend Cardinal Pell, they both touched so many.”

When asked what he sees as the future of the Coalition in electoral terms, Mr Abbott said: ”The Coalition needs to back to go forward. Remember the 1950’s that should be the vision for this country.”

”Families spending time together, Mum in the kitchen, Dad at the pub and the kids mucking around in the yard.”

”None of this renewable nonsense just good old fashioned coal.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to host a dinner event for my fan group, we have a table booked for 3:30pm, they like to eat early.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Andrew Hastie, Angus Taylor, auspol, Australia, Book, History, Insiders, knighthood, LibSpill, Prince Andrew, satire, Sky News, Sussan Ley, Tony Abbott