Author Archives
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Homeless Man Spends Night Sleeping In CEO’s Mansion To Get Authentic Feel Of What It’s Like To Have Bags Of Money
A homeless Sydney man has described spending the night snoozing cosily in a $10 million Mosman mansion as part of the annual Vinnies Tramp Sleepin as a sobering experience. “I’ve got a newfound admiration for how tough it is to… Read More ›
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Total Lunar Eclipse Ruined By “Folding” Aldi Chair
Despite clear night skies for Saturday’s total lunar eclipse, NSW South Coast residents had their viewing interrupted when a man lost his shit while trying to collapse a folding camping chair. Dozens of camera tripods belonging to amateur astronomers were… Read More ›
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Sadistic Woollies Shopper Reckons 15c Is A Bargain For Chance To Choke A Dolphin To Death
A thrifty psychopathic Woolworths shopper with a pathological hatred of dolphins believes that a 15 cent plastic bag that he has found is the bargain of a lifetime. “The last time I choked a dolphin in person I had to… Read More ›
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Imran Khan Elected President After Winning Majority Of Reverse Swinging Voters
Former test cricket captain Imran Khan has been elected President of Pakistan after winning the support of a majority of the reverse swinging voters. “Imran polled well at the start of the day with traditional swinging voters when the ballot… Read More ›
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Antony Green Returned To State Of Suspended Animation Till Next Election
The ABC has put psephologist Antony Green back into a state of suspended animation in a vault deep under the organisation’s headquarters in Ultimo. “We all love Antony but he becomes an absolute pest around the building when there isn’t… Read More ›
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Deliveroo Contract Having Trouble Finding Its Address
A lost Deliveroo contract has admitted that it can’t find its address after several weeks of cycling frantically around the neighbourhood. “Damn it, there’s a Smith Street and a Smith Crescent in this suburb,” said the frustrated contract as it… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 