Antony Green Returned To State Of Suspended Animation Till Next Election

The ABC has put psephologist Antony Green back into a state of suspended animation in a vault deep under the organisation’s headquarters in Ultimo.

“We all love Antony but he becomes an absolute pest around the building when there isn’t an imminent election to keep him distracted,” said ABC general manager Michelle Guthrie. “We replace his blood with formaldehyde and stick him in one of those chambers like you saw them waking up in at the start of Alien, then thaw him out again the next time we go to the polls.”

“He starts holding impromptu votes around the place like “Who’s The Best Banana in Pyjamas” and “Is Tony Jones Your Preferred Host of Q & A”,” said a member of the staff of Play School who only wanted to be identified by the initials BT. “The entire staff took a vote and decided that Antony needed to be put on ice once Super Saturday was done and dusted. There was in fact a 5% swing in favour of keeping him around the place and letting him conduct daily polls over which biscuits to have in the tea room.”

When asked whether it was likely that he would have to wake up from suspended animation to visit the bathroom before being officially re-animated, Mr Green said that it was too early to make a call on that question.

Peter Green
http://www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.



Categories: Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: