Author Archives
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Guy Sebastian Gives Polite Apology To Rowdy Fan Who Threw Half A Muffin At Him
Former Australian Idol winner Guy Sebastian has been captured on video hugging and apologising to an audience member who threw half a muffin at him during a live show in the NSW central west. “Guy was halfway through “I Like… Read More ›
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Salmonella Germs Horrified At Thought Of Touching Andrew Bolt
Billions of salmonella germs have waged protests in petri dishes across the country after learning that the plastic bag ban may lead them to make contact with the skin of opinion writer Andrew Bolt. “‘Most of us are decent, hard… Read More ›
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Australian, American Immigration Policy Still Based On That One Scene From “Scarface”
Officials from the Australian Border Force and the American ICE have confirmed that their entire policy on refugees seeking to enter the country is still based on that one scene from the 1983 movie “Scarface” where Tony Montana lies his… Read More ›
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Australia Bans Live Export Of Contiki Tourists
The Australian Minister for Agriculture has banned the live export of Contiki tourists during the northern hemisphere summer after distressing footage emerged of hungover young Australians trying to survive a bumpy bus journey from Nice to Florence. “There was clearly… Read More ›
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Woolies Scrap Single Use Checkout Operators
Customers will have to bring their own checkout operators from home after retail giant Woolworths announced the banning of single use checkout operators. “Fishermen kept finding our discarded checkout operators in the stomachs of sharks and dolphins, plus their gas… Read More ›
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Biased Public Funded Media Organisation Wants To Privatise The ABC
News Corporation, which paid no tax last year, has welcomed the proposed sale and break up of the ABC, saying there is only room for one severely biased media conglomerate in the Australian market. “The people saying that we’re depriving… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 