Author Archives
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Trump Offers Meryl Streep Help With Her Russian Accent
President elect Donald Trump has responded to Meryl Streep’s comments about him at the Golden Globe Awards with an offer to coach her in how to speak with a Russian accent. “Some of my best friends are Russian so I’m… Read More ›
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Finland Introduces Universal Basic Wage For Growly Heavy Metal Bands
Finland has become the first country in the world to trial the provision of an unconditional basic wage for all members of gravelly voiced heavy metal bands in the face of increased automation that threatens to displace the jobs of… Read More ›
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The (un)Australian’s Person Of The Year
A year like 2016 produces many contenders for “Person of the Year”, far too many with quality defamation lawyers to list. Below are some of the stronger contenders, followed by the indisputable winner. *Please note Bill Shorten was not shortlisted for the award… Read More ›
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Russian Hackers Attempting To Influence Logies Vote
The CIA has unveiled credible evidence that hackers from Russia are attempting to undermine the democratic process of choosing Australia’s most popular television personality. “As part of Vladimir Putin’s long term strategy of destabilising the western entertainment industry he has… Read More ›
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Just To Be Clear This Isn’t For Your Seventies Christiany Stuff, Nobel Committee Tells Bob Dylan
The Nobel Prize Committee has stressed to Patti Smith to pass on to Bob Dylan that the award is for his complete body of work except for that weirdass Christiany stuff he was doing in the mid-to-late 1970s. “Several members… Read More ›
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Australia Drops Plans For Climate Bullshit Emission Scheme
The energy minister has backtracked on plans to introduce a scheme aimed at limiting emission of utter bollocks about climate change after protests from prominent nutbars. “We had been looking into a scheme that rewarded people whose emissions on the… Read More ›