Author Archives
-
“UN Is Unelected Swill” Says Man Elected With 77 Votes
Malcolm Roberts has used his maiden speech in parliament to courageously chide the United Nations as unelected swill, gaining massive approval from the 0.00000321 per cent of the Australian population which placed him number one on their ballot papers. “The… Read More ›
-
Shane Warne Mini-Series Only Viewable On Mobile Phones
The new mini-series on the life of legendaryAustralian leg spinner Shane Warne will be the first TV show to only be available on mobile phones. “The mobile phone has been Shane’s medium of choice for ordering pizza, sending late night… Read More ›
-
Successful Return Of Pizza Shapes Closely Watched By Tony Abbott
The spectacular re-emergence of Pizza Shapes has put new wind into the sails of Tony Abbott as he contemplates his own potential return to the top of Australian politics. “Everyone thought we’d seen the last of the humble Pizza Shapes… Read More ›
-
Lawn Bowls Rocked By Match Fixing Scandal
The world of lawn bowls is in disarray after allegations of match fixing surfaced on the eve of the semi finals in the metropolitan pairs competition. “Sometimes as much as a full schooner can be bet on the result of… Read More ›
-
China Apologises For Thinking We’d Listen To Sam Dastyari
The Chinese government has issued a grovelling apology to the Australian people for assuming that we’d ever pay any attention to Sam Dastyari’s opinion on anything. “We have insulted the intelligence of an entire country by choosing Senator Dastyari above… Read More ›
-
Hillary Clinton Leads Most Boring And Predictable Presidential Campaign On Record
The 2016 American presidential campaign has panned out as predicted with long time favourite Hillary Clinton maintaining a healthy 12 point lead over her Republican opponent, obscure New York businessman Don Trump. “We’ve been hard pressed to find anything at… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 