Author Archives
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Increase In Heart Disease Attributed To Hipsters Trying Out Halal Snack Packs
The Australian Medical Association says an alarming rise in heart attacks in inner western Sydney is due to increased consumption of halal snack packs by politically aware lunchers wanting to show solidarity with the Muslim community. “Ever since Pauline Hanson… Read More ›
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Russian Olympic Team Regrets Hiring Stephen Dank
Following threats from the IOC to kick it out of the Rio Olympics, the Russian Olympic team is having serious second thoughts about its decision to hire Stephen Dank to oversee its supplements program. “Dr Dank injected our athletes with… Read More ›
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Every Doco Ever Made About Rise Of 1930’s Fascism Now Redundant
The world’s documentary makers have switched off coverage of the Republican National Convention and started downloading applications for unemployment benefits after realising that there is no need to ever make another movie explaining the rise of nazism. “What’s the point… Read More ›
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We Were On Painkillers When We Hired Eddie McGuire Admits Channel Nine
Television network Channel Nine has apologised for hiring Eddie McGuire and blamed the decision on painkillers and antibiotics it had taken while recovering from some low ratings. “We were as high as a kite and for some reason thought Eddie… Read More ›
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Stephen Conroy Invades China
Labor defence spokesman Stephen Conroy has launched a successful invasion of China armed only with a large wooden club. “Someone had to show China it couldn’t just thumb its nose at the rest of the world,” said a wild eyed… Read More ›
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Pokemon GO Players Warned Of Dangers of Unaugmented Reality
Young players of the Pokemon GO game thrilled to discover the new “Outdoors” app have begun experiencing disturbing side effects from the new unaugmented reality technology. “When you die in unaugmented reality you don’t immediately spring back to life,” said… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 