Author Archives

• Combustible Russell Crowes Banned From Planes

  By theunaustralianblog on 05/01/2016

  

  The world’s airlines have banned Russell Crowes from their cargo holds after fears the highly flammable actor may catch fire due to faulty wiring inside his brain. “We just can’t take the risk that a Russell Crowe may burst into… Read More ›

• Wandering Band Of Horn Players Expect Heaps Of January Bookings After Bumper December

  By theunaustralianblog on 22/12/2015

  

  Strolling trombonist Matt Storch is bracing himself for a heavy workload in January after his band of wandering horn players were booked solidly all through December playing Christmas carols in shopping malls. “December was just unbelievable. We’ve never had so… Read More ›

• Tourism NSW Launches Campaign To Attract Visiting Muggers To Sydney’s Laneways

  By theunaustralianblog on 04/12/2015

  

  Tourism NSW has launched an advertising campaign aimed at attracting more interstate muggers to holiday in Sydney and make use of its dark and dingy laneways. “Sydney’s laneways offer secluded places to lurk and prey upon unsuspecting passersby,” said tourist… Read More ›

• Re-Animated Corpse Of Tony Abbott Spotted Prowling Corridors Of Parliament House

  By theunaustralianblog on 02/12/2015

  

  A team of professional zombie hunters has been hired to stand guard over parliament house in Canberra after several eyewitnesses reported sighting the decaying corpse of former PM Tony Abbott shuffling around the building. “I was scrubbing dried up spit… Read More ›

• Fan Demands Selectors Pick Sheffield Shield Cricketers He’s Never Seen Play

  By theunaustralianblog on 30/11/2015

  

  An Australian cricket fan is stridently demanding that the selectors drop Shaun Marsh, Mitch Marsh and Peter Siddle from the test team and replace them with a bunch of interstate cricketers he only knows about from the scores he’s seen… Read More ›

• Forced Council Amalgamations To Make Corruption Much More Efficient

  By theunaustralianblog on 19/11/2015

  

  The NSW government reports that the forced mergers of local councils will considerably streamline the process of corruption leading to massive savings for dodgy property developers and crooked service providers. “At the moment shifty apartment builders need to bribe 193… Read More ›