Tourism NSW has launched an advertising campaign aimed at attracting more interstate muggers to holiday in Sydney and make use of its dark and dingy laneways.
“Sydney’s laneways offer secluded places to lurk and prey upon unsuspecting passersby,” said tourist bureau spokesperson Noreen Bumbag. “We can offer far richer pickings then Melbourne’s laneways which are brightly lit and always full of witnesses.”
“The criminal element has one of the highest levels of disposable income and yet no-one seems to be targeting them,” said NSW Tourism minister Elmer Roadtrip. “We’re hoping to capture a 75% share of the market for crim couples looking to spend a long weekend hiding in our garbage bin and rat infested lanes waiting to waylay unwary pedestrians.”
The initiative will tie in with Sydney’s very first Crimefest, a month long special event that will attract major criminals from all over the world. Highlights will include Violent Assault In The Park, The Festival Of Dangerous Weapons and Fracture By The Sea.
“Visitors to Sydney can expect a lot of pop up crime,” said festival director Nancy Brassknuckle. “We’ll also be taking corporate crime out to Parramatta and Blacktown for people who normally don’t get to experience it. We’re hoping to make this an annual event which will pour millions of dollars into the coffers of the state, which we’ll then rip off and invest in the Cayman Islands.”