Author Archives
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New Study Shows E-heroin A Much Healthier Alternative To Traditional Heroin
Medical authorities are treating with caution new scientific studies showing that electronic heroin syringes are 95% less dangerous than regular pointy metal syringes. “This would be wonderful news for smackies who want to get wasted in venues that have traditionally… Read More ›
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By-Election Candidates Jostle For Privilege Of Holding Seat For Last Sad Months Of Abbott Government
Potential members for the West Australian seat of Canning have begun campaigning furiously for the honour of occupying the seat for the final sputtering days of the current government. “I don’t think I’ll even bother buying plane tickets to Canberra… Read More ›
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Dark Web Mainly Used To Share Justin Bieber Albums
An Australian Federal Police investigation into the shadowy “dark web” has found that the underground internet is being used mostly by anonymous users to share files of Justin Bieber albums. “We were expecting to find that it was being used… Read More ›
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News Corp Editors Dismayed By End Of Photoshop Trial Period
Daily Telegraph editor Colin Sludge is one of many News Corp editors left with no idea what to put on the front page of their newspapers now the company’s initial four week trial download of Photoshop has expired. “I was… Read More ›
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Politicians Want Speedy Conscience Vote On Marriage Equality So They Can Go Back To Voting Unconscionably
Members of Australia’s federal parliament are keen for a conscience vote on marriage equality to take place as soon as possible so they can go back to voting without having to consult any kind of moral compass. “It’s hard work… Read More ›
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‘Tony Abbott’ Character Revealed As Joaquin Phoenix’s Latest Hoax
Actor Joaquin Phoenix has admitted that the bumbling Aussie prime minister “Tony Abbott” is a character he has been filming on the sly as the subject of the long awaited follow up to his 2010 mockumentary “I’m Still Here”, to… Read More ›