Author Archives
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Riots Feared As Sales Of Chips And Lollies Banned In Prison Tuck Shops
Chips and lollies will remain banned from prison tuck shops in a move designed to encourage healthier eating habits among some of the state’s most notorious criminals. “Our prisoners are among the most obese in the world and need to… Read More ›
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Email Sacking Port Workers Included Photo Of Boss’s Dinner
Worker sacked via email by Hutchison Ports say that the inclusion of a photograph of a chicken schnitzel that the boss was just about to eat has added considerable insult to the injury. “If the company wants to use social… Read More ›
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Uber To Begin Providing Brain Surgery
After having successfully captured a large portion of the taxi market, ride sharing network Uber is now going to take on Australia’s hospital system by starting a rival brain surgery service. “If anyone with a car and a mobile phone… Read More ›
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Nationals Ban Singing Of “Waltzing Matilda” Before Rugby
The National Party has banned the crowd from singing Waltzing Matilda before Saturday night’s rugby match between the Wallabies and the All Blacks because it encourages sheep rustling. “The words of Waltzing Matilda glamorise the act of sheep stealing, a… Read More ›
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Army To Use Kevin Andrews’ Hair As Armour
Australia’s special forces troops are to be supplied with a special lightweight body armour created from the same bullet resistant material as Defence Minster Kevin Andrews’s hair. “This stuff is twice as tough as Kevlar and almost as flexible,” said… Read More ›
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Jason Akermanis: ‘I suffered Years Of Abuse From Dickheadist Fans’
Former AFL star Jason Akermanis has shown sympathy for the plight of swans star Adam Goodes, revealing that he was subjected to a campaign of boos from rival fans simply because he was a dickhead. “Dickheadism is an ugly scourge… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 