Author Archives
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Australia Emotionally Drained After Spending Long Day Hating Nick Kyrgios, Feeling Sorry For Nick Kyrgios, Hating Dawn Fraser, Feeling Sorry For Dawn Fraser Then Hating The People Who Hated Dawn Fraser.
Australia is in need of an aspirin and a good lie down after spending yesterday riding an emotional roller coaster of hate, re-evaluation and forgiveness. “I started the day feeling vindicated for thinking that Nick Kyrgios was a bit of… Read More ›
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SBS Tiptoeing Around Trying Not To Attract Tony Abbott’s Attention
After seeing how its big brother ABC was punished for insubordination, Australia’s other major publicly funded television network has been keeping its head down around the house. “ABC was forbidden from playing with some of its friends and had its… Read More ›
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God Punishes Australians Wanting Marriage Equality With Plague of Eric Abetzes
The almighty supreme being God has seen fit to punish the Australian population for even considering the issue of gay marriage by smiting the country with a plague of Eric Abetzes. “Take that you heathens”, said God as he rained… Read More ›
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Middle Australia Goes Fire Walking To Try To Get Over Its Fears
In an effort to stop making stupid decisions due to fear, Middle Australia has gone fire walking to toughen itself up. “I’m totally shit scared of so many things,” said Middle Australia from its duplex home in Sydney’s south west…. Read More ›
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Treasurer For Sail
Treasurer Joe Hockey likes sail boats far more than any other types of boat, especially those paddle boats with the massive oversized wheels out the front. “I think steam powered boats smell funny and boats with outboard motors make far… Read More ›
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Mafia Moves Quickly To Distance Itself From Liberal Party
Leading figures from the Italian mafia have spoken out to quash allegations raised in last Monday night’s episode of Four Corners that they have ever had any dealings with the Liberal Party. “We’re an honourable institution of thieves, extortionists and… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 