Author Archives
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Coalition Reverts To Mayan Calendar To Meet 2030 Emission Targets
The Australian government has declared that it is certain to meet all of its obligations to reduce carbon emissions by 2030 after officially adopting the Mayan calendar. “The great cycle of the long count component of the Mayan calendar ended… Read More ›
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Awkward Moment As Clinton And Prince Andrew Hit Squads Arrive At Same Time To Kill Jeffrey Epstein
An embarrassing faux pas led to the assassination squads arranged by both Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton arriving at the same time at Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell to carry out the hit, an inquiry has been told. “It was really… Read More ›
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Turf War Breaks Out Between Orange And Yellow Hi-vis Wearers
Police have appealed for calm after the tense stand off between workers who wear hi-vis work gear escalated last night following the drive by shooting of an orange hi-vis wearing Irish traffic controller by a gang of yellow hi-vis wearing… Read More ›
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BUPA Meets Healthier Version Of Itself That Runs Decent Nursing Homes
Health care provider BUPA has bumped into a healthier version of itself on the street that manages a fully staffed nursing home that treats its patients with dignity. “At first I thought ‘you’re not me, where are the maggots?’, but… Read More ›
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Pensioners To Be Tested For Bushells Tea
The government is to introduce mandatory Bushells Tea testing for old age pensioners in an attempt to reduce wear and tear on the public toilet system and to encourage them to spend less time showing off photographs of their grandchildren…. Read More ›
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Gladys Liu Denies Being Tank Driver At Tienanmen Square
Liberal Party MP Gladys Liu says she “cannot recall” whether or not she was the driver of the tank that was poised to roll over the top of a lone protester in the famous photograph of the Tienanmen Square massacre…. Read More ›
The (un)Australian 