Health care provider BUPA has bumped into a healthier version of itself on the street that manages a fully staffed nursing home that treats its patients with dignity.
“At first I thought ‘you’re not me, where are the maggots?’, but it managed to convince me it was the healthier version of myself,” said the company after the highly emotional meeting on the footpath outside the Royal Commission into Aged Care. “It was like looking into a mirror except the older citizens in my care were happier and mostly free of bed sores and some of them weren’t even sitting in their own filth.”
The company was visibly shaken by the encounter and has vowed to eat better, exercise more and maybe even occasionally send someone around to patrol a ward.
‘I’m going to do my best from now on to try and be more like the healthier me,” said the currently slobby and overweight company. “But you know how hard it is to stick to a diet. Don’t be surprised if you see me in two weeks time and I’m back to encouraging overworked staffers to wash customers with a swirlon.”