Author Archives
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Dutton Says Vics Should Be Happy With Lockdown As It Keeps Them Safe From Sudanese Gangs
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told Victorians that they should be happy with their lockdown being extended as it keeps them safe from Sudanese gangs. ”All we hear from Victoria is negativity, it’s time that they… Read More ›
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ScoMo Tells Victorians Not To Worry As He And Jen Have Had Their Vaccinations
Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong’s marketing department has moved to reassure locked down Victorians not to worry about Jen and himself, as they have both been vaccinated. ”I know a lot of Melburnians are concerned that old mate ScoMo… Read More ›
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Joyce Offers His Prick To Help Out With The Vaccination Campaign
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has offered to help kickstart Australia’s struggling vaccination program by donating his prick. ”I am if anything a man of the people, so ladies of Australia line up to get my prick,” said… Read More ›
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Dutton Tells The Army Be Prepared To Invade Victoria
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has commanded his forces to gather on the NSW/Victorian border in preparation of invading the State and over throwing the Dan Andrews regime. ”The time has come for Australians to stand up… Read More ›
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Dutton Bans Milk Arrowroot Biscuits Due To Their Sexually Suggestive Name And Shape
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has again acted to protect the sanctity of morning tea by banning the humble milk arrowroot biscuit due to it’s sexually suggestive name and shape. ”I want the men working under my command… Read More ›
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Dutton calls for “Fairy Bread” to be renamed “Freedom Bread”
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that his department no longer serve “Fairy Bread” but instead rename it “Freedom Bread”. ”There will be no fairies in my department!” barked the Dark Lord. ”If anyone wants to… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 