Dutton Bans Milk Arrowroot Biscuits Due To Their Sexually Suggestive Name And Shape

Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has again acted to protect the sanctity of morning tea by banning the humble milk arrowroot biscuit due to it’s sexually suggestive name and shape.

”I want the men working under my command to have their minds on the job at hand not the job in their hand,” said the Dark Lord. ”We can’t have them drooling over something named a milk arrowroot that is shaped like that.”

”For that matter I am also banning scotch finger biscuits and iced vovos.”

When asked why he was seemingly obsessed with biscuits and morning teas, the Dark Lord said: ”Well somebody has to be.”

”Under the Labor Government morning teas got out of hand. It’s time for them to go back basics and that is they will only be held on somebody’s retirement or a significant birthday and only Anzac or orange cream biscuits are to be served.”

”Now, all this talk of biscuits has got me a bit feeling famished, I saw a Unicorn walking around the grounds of Parliament house I might go and feast on it’s blood.”

Mark Williamson


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