Dutton calls for “Fairy Bread” to be renamed “Freedom Bread”

Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that his department no longer serve “Fairy Bread” but instead rename it “Freedom Bread”.

”There will be no fairies in my department!” barked the Dark Lord. ”If anyone wants to snack on a delicious piece of white bread with butter and sprinkles, then they need to ask for Freedom Bread.”

”Just to remind you that freedom is a privilege not a right.”

When asked why he was so concerned with food and morning teas instead of keeping the country safe, the Dark Lord said: ”How dare you question the Dark Lord?!”

”You know, in some countries journalists are shot for daring to question their leaders.”

”Fingers crossed, Australia will be one of those countries in the not too distant future. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day and there’s a puppy back in my office that I look forward to strangling.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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