Former Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott, has demanded that current Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, send the army over to the UK to help track down Princess Kate. ”A strong monarchy makes a strong Australia,” said Mr Rabbit. ”Albo needs… Read More ›
army
Rising Sea Levels Place Alice Springs As Favoured Location For New Sub’s
With news yesterday of Australia’s submarine purchase speculation is now mounting on where they will be housed, with Alice Springs firming as a likely location despite currently being land locked. ”At this stage Alice Springs is indeed inaccessible by boat… Read More ›
Dutton Says Vics Should Be Happy With Lockdown As It Keeps Them Safe From Sudanese Gangs
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told Victorians that they should be happy with their lockdown being extended as it keeps them safe from Sudanese gangs. ”All we hear from Victoria is negativity, it’s time that they… Read More ›
Dutton calls for “Fairy Bread” to be renamed “Freedom Bread”
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that his department no longer serve “Fairy Bread” but instead rename it “Freedom Bread”. ”There will be no fairies in my department!” barked the Dark Lord. ”If anyone wants to… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Defence Promotion By Strangling A Puppy
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is now Australia’s new Minister for Defence has celebrated his promotion to the role by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”It’s quite an honour to be made Minister for Defence,” said… Read More ›
Army To Use Kevin Andrews’ Hair As Armour
Australia’s special forces troops are to be supplied with a special lightweight body armour created from the same bullet resistant material as Defence Minster Kevin Andrews’s hair. “This stuff is twice as tough as Kevlar and almost as flexible,” said… Read More ›