Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told Victorians that they should be happy with their lockdown being extended as it keeps them safe from Sudanese gangs. ”All we hear from Victoria is negativity, it’s time that they… Read More ›
army
Dutton calls for “Fairy Bread” to be renamed “Freedom Bread”
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that his department no longer serve “Fairy Bread” but instead rename it “Freedom Bread”. ”There will be no fairies in my department!” barked the Dark Lord. ”If anyone wants to… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Defence Promotion By Strangling A Puppy
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is now Australia’s new Minister for Defence has celebrated his promotion to the role by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”It’s quite an honour to be made Minister for Defence,” said… Read More ›
Army To Use Kevin Andrews’ Hair As Armour
Australia’s special forces troops are to be supplied with a special lightweight body armour created from the same bullet resistant material as Defence Minster Kevin Andrews’s hair. “This stuff is twice as tough as Kevlar and almost as flexible,” said… Read More ›