Dutton Says Vics Should Be Happy With Lockdown As It Keeps Them Safe From Sudanese Gangs

Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told Victorians that they should be happy with their lockdown being extended as it keeps them safe from Sudanese gangs.

”All we hear from Victoria is negativity, it’s time that they changed their tune,” said the Dark Lord. ”Enjoy the time they have at home and be thankful they can sit down to dinner without being accosted by Sudanese gangs.”

When asked why the Federal Government wasn’t doing more to support Victoria, the Dark Lord said: ”What more can we do?”

”I mean, we could bring in the army and take over the State. Dan Andrews is sidelined right now with an injury so that makes the State ripe for the picking.”

”If you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make and some tanks to fire up.”

Mark Williamson


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