ScoMo Tells Victorians No Job Keeper But Government Will Send Thoughts And Prayers

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong’s marketing department has told Victoria that his Government will not bring back job keeper for the current lockdown that the State is enduring. However, they will provide the State with an infinite supply of thoughts and prayers.

”I know Victorians are doing it tough,” said the PM. ”So, I send to them thoughts and prayers, as many as they need.”

”Sure, thoughts don’t cover the rent however sometimes getting down on your knees does.”

When asked how people were expected to survive without 2 weeks wages, the PM said: ”They can tap into their savings or better yet ask a wealthy mining magnate to kick in some reelection money.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to chat to a few wealthy mining magnates to see how my Government can best help them get through the pandemic.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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