Recent Posts - page 3
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Porter Tipped To Be Named Minister For Women
Rumours are flying within the Canberra bubble that current Attorney General Christian Porter will be appointed Minister for Women over the weekend when the Prime Minister reshuffles his cabinet. ”I won’t respond to any rumours or scuttlebutt,” said the PM…. Read More ›
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PM Orders Desks Removed From All Female MP’s Offices To Avoid Temptation
The Prime Minister has taken the first step in his pledge to clean up the Canberra bubble by ordering the removal of all desks located in Female MP’s offices, so as to avoid temptation to the many chronic masturbators working… Read More ›
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Joyce Tells PM To End The Stupid Bonk Ban For The Sake Of Canberra’s Desks
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has angrily called on the PM to end the parliamentary bonk ban as the pent up frustration around it is causing staffers to do silly stuff such as masturbate on female colleagues desks…. Read More ›
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PM Tells Female Politicians To Make Sure Their Desk Is Wearing A Chastity Belt
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has called on female politicians from all parties to ensure that their desks are fitted with a functioning chastity belt. ”Doesn’t matter if you are Labor, Liberal or other I say to you please make… Read More ›
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Scotty From Marketing Spotted In Bunnings Looking For A DIY Ark Kit
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison who was thought to be be missing during the NSW floods has been spotted at his local Bunnings store asking staff which aisle the DIY ark kits are located in. ”Never fear Australia I am… Read More ›
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ScoMo Tells Australia’s Women That There’s No Need For A Consent App When You Have A Marriage Certificate
Prime Minister ScoMo has told the women of Australia to forget about a consent app and instead go out and get themselves a marriage certificate instead. ”There’s nothing wrong with the good old marriage certificate,” said the Prime Minister. ”Heck,… Read More ›
Featured Categories
Politics ›
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ScoMo Tells Women The Only Reason To Be On Your Knees Is To Pray
08/04/2021
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ScoMo Tells Women To Wear Ankle Length Skirts So As Not To Tempt Andrew Laming
06/04/2021
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One Nation Condemns April Fools Day For Deliberately Targeting Their Voters
01/04/2021
Sport ›
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PM Hires Nathan Lyon To Work In His Office To Help With The Spin
22/02/2021
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St George Dragons Scouting Margaret Court For Their Forwards Pack
02/02/2021
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Trump Refuses To Concede That He Lost The Masters To Dustin Johnson
16/11/2020
World ›
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‘Q’ of Qanon Fame Now On His Third Straight Day Of Drinking Gin In His Underpants Whilst Crying
10/11/2020
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Editorial: Kanye West Is The President America Needs Right Now
04/11/2020
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Trick Or Treaters Warned That Wearing Orange Face Is Culturally Insensitive
31/10/2020
Arts ›
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ScoMo Tells The Arts To Start Putting On Some Fundraising Shows For The Struggling Coal Industry
18/12/2020
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Gladys Berejiklian: 10 Iconic Buildings I’d Like To Turn Into A Pokies Den
25/11/2020
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Shire Dad Annoyed That “The Oils” Have Gone All Political
11/08/2020
News ›
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Porter Tells The Nation’s Scientists To Hurry Up And Invent A Time Machine Or That Gun From Men In Black
31/03/2021
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ScoMo Tells Australia’s Women That There’s No Need For A Consent App When You Have A Marriage Certificate
19/03/2021
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ScoMo Tells Colleagues To Not Worry About Facebook As Jen Told Him That The Girls Prefer Snapchat
19/02/2021
Opinion ›
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Column: Alan Jones’ Guide To Being A Cook
12/04/2021
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Latham Sacked As Cooking Columnist Following Confusion Over Crushed Nuts
09/04/2021
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Column: Mark Latham’s Guide To Being A Cook
09/04/2021
