Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has extended an invitation to his Labor counterpart to join him for a round of drinks, in particular, a new cocktail he’s been working on called a Polyjuice Potion. “A lot of people… Read More ›
ALP
ALP Regrets Having National Office Situated In Sydney’s China Town
The Australian Labor Party is to relocate it’s National office currently located in Sussex street Sydney in an area known as ‘China Town.’ The move comes after several of it’s members became addicted to Chinese take-away. “We’ve been in Sussex… Read More ›
Sam Dastyari Claims His Pet Panda Is Totally Legit
Sam Dastyari has taken a break from denying allegations that he is in the pay of the Chinese government to spend some quality time playing in the backyard with his brand new pet panda. “There’s nothing suss at all about… Read More ›
Bill Shorten To Stand Aside As Opposition Leader To Be Replaced By Tony Abbott
The Labor party has announced today that their leader Bill Shorten will be standing aside with Tony Abbott expected to be named as his replacement. A Labor insider spoke to The (un)Australian on the condition of anonymity and a free… Read More ›
NSW Parliament Security Fail To Recognise Luke Foley Again
“Sorry mate, only those with authorisation are allowed past here,” a burly security guard at New South Wales Parliament House told a flustered middle-aged man in a suit as he tried to walk into the state’s Legislative Council. A second… Read More ›
Election Day Cake Stalls Banned Due To Nut Allergies
The Australian Electoral Commission has announced today that no election day cake stalls will be allowed this year due to the threat posed to voters with nut allergies. A spokesperson for the AEC said: “People should be allowed to vote without being… Read More ›
