44 year old Accounts payable officer Mark James has proudly strode into his office wearing his city-to-surf medal, after taking three and a half hours to complete the race yesterday, allowing for a 20 minute stop for a beer at… Read More ›
Athletics
ScoMo Tells Those Wishing To Get Vaccinated To Learn To Throw A Javelin
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong has told all Australians that wish to be vaccinated to learn to throw a javelin and try and qualify for the Olympics in order to get a jab. ”Look, it’s simple – if you… Read More ›
Aussie Runner Goes Back To Make Sure Fallen Opponent Stays Down
An Australian athlete has been praised for showing the true spirit of Aussie sportsmanship by stopping in the middle of a 5000 metre race and returning to push a fallen rival back to the ground. “I saw that a runner… Read More ›
Athlete Easily Does It Without The Fans
The sporting community is in chaos after an athlete refuted every victorious post-match press conference ever given by crediting his victory to his own hard work and application rather than professing that he couldn’t have done it without his fans…. Read More ›
Machines Show Humans Who’s Boss By Running Down Fastest Man On Earth Usain Bolt
The machines have sent humanity a chilling warning that they are now in charge after a segway chased and mowed down the world’s fastest man Usain Bolt. “How pitiful a species you are if your finest runner can’t even get… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 