ScoMo Tells Those Wishing To Get Vaccinated To Learn To Throw A Javelin

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong has told all Australians that wish to be vaccinated to learn to throw a javelin and try and qualify for the Olympics in order to get a jab.

”Look, it’s simple – if you want to get vaccinated, and your name’s not Morrison, then get out to the park and qualify for the Olympics,” said the PM. ”We can’t be any fairer than that.”

When asked why he was prioritising athletes over more vulnerable members of the community, the Prime Minister said: ”I reject the premise of your question.”

”It’s not like I hold a needle and do the vaccination myself now, is it?”

”Australians want to see their athletes in action winning medals and posing with PM’s.”

”No one wants to see the PM posing for a pic with a pensioner now, do they?”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to training as I, ScoMo, am thinking about heading to the Olympics. Tonight I will be doing some squats down at Engadine Maccas.”

Mark Williamson


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