The big day is almost here. The sausages are defrosting, the cakes are being iced and the entire Nation breathes a sigh of relief that they will no longer be receiving unauthorised text messages from a C Palmer of Brisbane…. Read More ›
Carlo Sands
Despite Light Rain, Idiot Sydney Man Rocks Up To Train Station On Time This Morning
An idiot man who resides in Sydney stupidly rocked up to a Sydney train station expecting to catch his usual train, despite some rain falling overnight, inevitably causing a transportation system more fragile than Mark Latham’s ego to melt down… Read More ›
Sydney’s Bus Timetables An Early Favourite For 2019 Nobel Prize For Literature
After Bob Dylan’s groundbreaking Nobel Prize for Literature award, critics are expecting new “left field” choices by the Swedish Academy that grants the prestigious award, with Sydney’s bus timetables widely considered to be a front-runner for 2019. “There is a… Read More ›
‘This Is Just Who I Am,’ Says Man Who Apparently Always Has A Huge Bus Drive Around With His Mug On It
“Campaigning? Mate, this is just who I am,” says Prime Minister Scott Morrison, confirming that he actually always has a bus with a giant pic of his mug and campaign slogans drive around the state of Queensland while he flies… Read More ›
Large Wave Looking Forward To Dumping Smug Bastard
A large wave rapidly developing size and strength on an isolated beach on Sydney’s northern shore at 5.30am this morning was looking forward to savagely dumping the smug-looking 40-something man standing waist deep in the water, despite the water being… Read More ›
After Usain Bolt, A-League Clubs Reportedly Chasing Melbourne Cup Winner Rekindling
Rekindling, the British-born racehorse who won the 2017 Melbourne Cup, is reportedly being chased by several A-League clubs ahead of the start of Australia’s premier soccer competition. The clubs are said to be keen for a combination of eye-catching speed… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 