Former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has offered to step in as Special Envoy to Melbourne Hotel security, in an effort to help Victoria stop the spread of covid-19. “Victorians are doing it tough and when I heard of security… Read More ›
coronavirus
Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
Dutton And ScoMo Demand The Media Learn The Difference Between Boats And Ships
Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton have called on the media to learn the difference between a ship and a boat after a ship docked in Fremantle with Covid infected crew. ”The media… Read More ›
Man Wants To Know When He Can Go Back To Not Washing His Hands
Scouring news reports for details of what restrictions are being lifted where and when, Brad Murray has just one question: when can he go back to never really bothering to wash his hands? While many have had their lives turned… Read More ›
China Answers PM’s Text With “New Phone Who Dis?”
A relieved Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has revealed the recent trade disputes between Australia and China is a simple misunderstanding after China answered Australia’s text with, “New phone who dis?” “I do admit I was a bit worried when… Read More ›
Cricket Australia Outlaws Using Spit to Shine Ball: Opts For Sand Paper Instead
Cricket Australia chief Kevin Roberts flagged a flurry of new rules for cricket in reaction to the COVID-19 crisis that has hit the sport. Roberts has suggested practices such as using spit to shine a ball need to be replaced… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 