Barnaby Calls To Be Made Special Envoy To Melbourne Hotel Security


Former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has offered to step in as Special Envoy to Melbourne Hotel security, in an effort to help Victoria stop the spread of covid-19.

“Victorians are doing it tough and when I heard of security guards sleeping with hotel guests, well I thought I better get in on that,” said the Member for New England. ”I mean we can’t just have people rooting willy-nilly, they need to take precautions, like I should’ve done.”

”So, as soon as I can I will get to Melbourne and show these guards how to do things properly.”

When asked how he would get in to Melbourne given that the borders are closed, Mr Joyce said: “Look when you’re Barnaby Joyce you have ways of getting in to places no one expects you to get in to.”

“I am a master of disguise you know, heck to get in to Victoria all I need to do is dress up like a protester.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and stock up on supplies for the trip, do you know where’s the nearest chemist?”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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