The Government’s current Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has been busily researching his rumoured new Ministry, that of defence by learning all he can about ‘Military coups.’ “I’ve always prided myself on being across my brief,” said the… Read More ›
Home Affairs
Dutton Declares That Border Force Stops Boats Not Ships
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has declared that Border Force, of which he is in charge of is responsible for dealing with boats, not ships. Particularly not cruise ships ”A lot of people most notably the Twitterati have… Read More ›
Scotty From Marketing Tells The Media That A Ship Is Not A Boat
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has used his daily press conference to berate the country’s media over their confusion between a ship and a boat. “In times like these the last thing we need is for the media to… Read More ›
Joyce Tipped To Replace McKenzie In ScoMo’s Ministry As Minister For Affairs
Former Nationals Leader Barnaby Joyce has been tipped to replace his colleague Bridget McKenzie in Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s cabinet, as the Government’s Minister for Affairs. “Barnaby has spent his time in the wilderness and touch wood he hasn’t impregnated… Read More ›
“My Husband May Be A C*nt But He’s Not A Monster,” Says Kirilly Dutton
The wife of the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has come out strongly in his defence claiming that whilst ‘he may be a real c*nt he is definitely not a monster.’ “I’m sick and tired of people coming… Read More ›
Dutton Demands More Powers Or Else He’ll Piss All Over The Floor
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Cabinet give him the power to exclude people from the country or else he will piss all over the floors of parliament. “This is just… Read More ›