Barnaby Tells ScoMo: End The Bonk Ban Win The Election

Australia’s next Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told the PM that the reason that they are doing so badly in the polls is due to the contentious (only to Barnaby) bonk ban.

”Bloody, Scott, err, ScoMo, needs to realise that sex sells,” said the Member for New England. ”Sure it doesn’t fly in those inner city latte sipping seats, but who cares about them.”

”The people in the bush wanna know that their member is on the job, in more ways than one.”

When asked why given the rising cost of living and interest rate rise that he felt that the bonk ban was the most important issue to deal with, the Deputy PM (for now) said: ”You people in the Canberra bubble need to get out more.”

”People care about who’s bonking who. They want their MP’s happy and sexed up.”

”They know that interest rates will go up and down, they’re more concerned that MP’s like me are able to go up and down.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and pound the pavement and potentially press the flesh.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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