Australia’s media pack has reacted angrily to news that new Prime Minister Anthony Albanese failed to find a spot in his cabinet for Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”This is just a ridiculous move by Albo,” said an anonymous Journalist. ”Lord… Read More ›
Nationals
Barnaby Denies Giving Littleproud A Wedgie
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has denied giving his colleague David Littleproud a wedgie this morning and insisted it was just a miscommunication. ”Look David asked me if his tie was straight and it wasn’t, so I… Read More ›
“Just Call Me The Big C,” Says Dutton In Pitch To Conservative Voters
Aspiring Opposition leader and a man that our Lawyers say does not resemble Lord Voldemort Peter Dutton has told conservative voters that he is one of them and they should refer to him as the Big C. ”A lot of… Read More ›
Barnaby Tells Dutton: ”No Coalition As Long As There’s A Bonk Ban”
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told the soon to be minted Opposition leader Peter Dutton to not expect to form a Coalition with the Nationals as long as the bonk ban still stands. ”Peter, gee it’s… Read More ›
How To Vote The Un-Australian Way
As Australians we love our democracy and how it means we have a pool of twenty five million from whom to choose our best and brightest to be our leader. Sadly, the reality is we have more options when it… Read More ›
Man Who Can’t Count To 43 Doesn’t Rule Out Becoming Treasurer
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has been keenly following his colleague Josh Frydenberg’s struggles to retain his seat at the upcoming election, telling his fellow Death Eaters that he’d consider becoming Treasurer should the opportunity arise. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›