Barnaby Tells Dutton: ”No Coalition As Long As There’s A Bonk Ban”

Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told the soon to be minted Opposition leader Peter Dutton to not expect to form a Coalition with the Nationals as long as the bonk ban still stands.

”Peter, gee it’s good to work with someone and call them by their name rather than a made up nickname, Dutton needs to end this inhumane bonk ban,” said the Member for New England. ”I mean we’ll be in Opposition for awhile what’s their to do other than a few press conferences and chasing around our staffers.”

”Most of us are a long way from home and not used to sleeping in our beds alone.”

When asked, given the result of the electoral thumping the Coalition received why they aren’t going further than just the bonk ban to change, the Member for New England said: ”I won my seat and I was against the bonk ban.”

”Scott, yes Scott, not bloody ScoMo, was for the bonk ban and he lost his job. It doesn’t get more obvious than that why we lost.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Peter about some other issues I have and show him how I will piss on the carpet if he doesn’t do things my way.”

Mark Williamson


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