Australia’s former Prime Minister (LOL) Scotty who was fired from marketing has taken a break from squatting at Kirribilli to reach out to new Opposition leader Peter Dutton to see if he wants any of his infamous curry recipes. ”Being… Read More ›
Peter Dutton
Press Disappointed After Albo Leaves Dutton Out Of His Cabinet
Australia’s media pack has reacted angrily to news that new Prime Minister Anthony Albanese failed to find a spot in his cabinet for Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”This is just a ridiculous move by Albo,” said an anonymous Journalist. ”Lord… Read More ›
Dutton’s Colleagues Relieved To Be Reunited With Their Loved Ones
Following his ascension to leader of the Opposition, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has released his colleagues loved ones from the holding cells in his lair deep in the bowels of Parliament house. ”I’m a big believer in insurance, whether… Read More ›
Barnaby Denies Giving Littleproud A Wedgie
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has denied giving his colleague David Littleproud a wedgie this morning and insisted it was just a miscommunication. ”Look David asked me if his tie was straight and it wasn’t, so I… Read More ›
“Just Call Me The Big C,” Says Dutton In Pitch To Conservative Voters
Aspiring Opposition leader and a man that our Lawyers say does not resemble Lord Voldemort Peter Dutton has told conservative voters that he is one of them and they should refer to him as the Big C. ”A lot of… Read More ›
Man Who Can’t Count To 43 Doesn’t Rule Out Becoming Treasurer
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has been keenly following his colleague Josh Frydenberg’s struggles to retain his seat at the upcoming election, telling his fellow Death Eaters that he’d consider becoming Treasurer should the opportunity arise. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›