NSW Govenor William Bligh says he expects no challenges to his authority as he implements early closing laws on the rum houses of Sydney Town. “I’m a man who is used to getting his own way, except for that one… Read More ›
Peter Green
Australian Sheep Census Taking Forever
The sheep census started by the Australian Bureau of Statistics back in 1950 is still no closer to completion due to all the census takers falling asleep five minutes after the start of each working day. “You’d think it would… Read More ›
Increase In Heart Disease Attributed To Hipsters Trying Out Halal Snack Packs
The Australian Medical Association says an alarming rise in heart attacks in inner western Sydney is due to increased consumption of halal snack packs by politically aware lunchers wanting to show solidarity with the Muslim community. “Ever since Pauline Hanson… Read More ›
Stephen Conroy Invades China
Labor defence spokesman Stephen Conroy has launched a successful invasion of China armed only with a large wooden club. “Someone had to show China it couldn’t just thumb its nose at the rest of the world,” said a wild eyed… Read More ›
Mechanical Rabbit Plague Feared After Greyhound Racing Banned
Farmers across New South Wales are bracing for a devastating increase in the population of mechanical rabbits after Mike Baird banned greyhound racing. “Greyhounds are the only natural enemy of the mechanical rabbit and without them around, our fields are… Read More ›
Chilcot Report Finds PM Hugh Grant Acted Heroically In ‘Love Actually’
After seven years of investigation and 2.6 million words, the Chilcot Report has concluded British Prime Minister Hugh Grant acted with massive cojones in standing up to sleazy American President Billy Bob Thornton in that scene in the 2003 romantic… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 