Convenience store 7-Eleven has defended the low wages it pays its employees, saying the price of a Mars Bar would skyrocket if they were forced to raise salaries to anywhere near a living wage. “We’re struggling as it is to keep… Read More ›
Peter Green
Ice Epidemic A Bonanza For Scrawny And Sunken Eyed Actors
The current ice epidemic is proving to be a rich source of income for Australia’s most emaciated and haggard looking actors. “My agent gets three or four calls a week asking how I look going berko in a shopping mall,”… Read More ›
Government Introduces Kebab Shop Lockout Laws
Tubby late night diners have been angered by the introduction of new laws making it illegal to serve kebabs after 10pm in designated parts of Sydney. “In an effort to curb the city’s appalling binge obesity problem, kebabs will now only… Read More ›
Cory Bernadi Only Person In Australia Who Knows What They Think Of Malcolm Turnbull’s Victory
South Australian senator Cory Bernadi’s offer to resign from the Liberal Party in protest has made him the first person in Australia to come to any kind of conclusion about what they think about Malcolm Turnbull’s rise to the position… Read More ›
Stoner’s Facebook Page Best Evidence For Dangers of Smoking Too Much Dope
Medical researchers have cited the Facebook page of a north coast pr-marijuana advocate as the best scientific evidence yet that smoking too much dope is bad for your brain. “I’ve never seen a more clear cut illustration of how being… Read More ›
Turnbull Displays Head Of Tony Abbott On A Pike
In a bold break from tradition Australia’s new prime minister Malcolm Turnbull has put the severed head of his predecessor Tony Abbott on display atop of a large pole outside parliament house. “Generally in this country a defeated leader is… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 