Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when… Read More ›
Renewables
Dutton Claims Chernobyl’s Thriving Tourism Business Proof Australia Needs A Nuclear Industry
Australian Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has called on Australia to go nuclear in order to boost the tourism industry, after hearing the news that the Chernobyl nuclear site was seeing a boom in tourism. ”Anthony Albanese needs… Read More ›
PM Tells Nation’s Journos To Watch Him Jump A Shark On His Motorbike
Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has called the Nation’s journos to invite them to watch him today in a marginal electorate attempt to jump a shark on his brand new motorbike. ”I am nothing, if not a can do… Read More ›
Joyce Tells ScoMo Don’t Drink Any Water On The Way To Glasgow As The Nat’s Own The Rights
Australia’s acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has told his colleague Scott Morrison not to drink any water on the flight to Glasgow, as the Nationals own the rights to it. The water rights on planes were gifted to the Nationals… Read More ›
Government Announces Plans To Mine Clive Palmer For Gas
Energy Minister Angus Taylor has today announced that the Federal Government plans to go all in on gas, with plans to start mining eccentric Queensland billionaire Clive Palmer. ”The Morrison Government is firmly committed to gas,” said a spokesman for… Read More ›
Coal Industry To Be Included In The Religious Freedom Act
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has revealed that his Government’s planned Religious freedom act will include the coal industry as a religion thus preventing it from being boycotted or abused by those who identify as anti-coal. “My Government will always… Read More ›