Government Announces Plans To Mine Clive Palmer For Gas

Clive Palmer with Jeff in happier times.

Energy Minister Angus Taylor has today announced that the Federal Government plans to go all in on gas, with plans to start mining eccentric Queensland billionaire Clive Palmer.

”The Morrison Government is firmly committed to gas,” said a spokesman for Minister Taylor. ”So, it makes sense that we will target the largest source of gas that we know, and that clearly is Clive.”

”I think over the last couple of elections Australia has seen that Clive definitely does expel a lot of gas.”

When asked why the Government was focusing on obtaining gas from Clive Palmer, rather than seeking a more renewable source, the spokesperson said: ”Clive’s gas was enough to help us across the line at the last election, and will hopefully help the LNP across the line in the upcoming Queensland election.”

”What better way to make Australia great again than by spreading Clive Palmer’s gas all over the country?”

Mark Williamson


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