Australia’s 3,798 online gambling companies have today, ahead of the Melbourne Cup, reminded Australians to gamble irresponsibly. In a move to ensure they maximise expenditure from once-a-year punters, the companies are enforcing a direct and stern message. “The last thing… Read More ›
Tom Waterhouse
Sports Commentator Reminds Us To Always Use Heroin Responsibly
Viewers of the National Crab Soccer League are being constantly reminded to always use heroin responsibly after the league completed a multi million dollar sponsorship deal with Australia’s largest heroin dealer. “And don’t forget, always shoot up in a responsible… Read More ›
Melbourne Cup To Be Run In Two Stages To Allow More Gambling Ads In The Broadcast
Organisers of this year’s Melbourne Cup have accepted a request by online gambling companies to run the race in two stages to allow more gambling advertisements to be screened during the broadcast. “Good to see a bit of common sense… Read More ›
Thousands Expected To Send Off Racing Legend Bart Cummings To Glue Factory
Thousands of racing fans are expected to attend today’s state funeral for eyebrow aficionado Bart Cummings, held in Sydney’s St Mary’s Glue Factory. Mr Cummings is considered a legend in the racing community. He has 12 Melbourne Cup victories to… Read More ›
Australia To Play Spider Cam In A Best Of Six Test Series
The Australian Cricket Board today announced that the side currently leading India two nil in a best of four test series will next play Channel 9’s Spider Camera in a six test series, following the World Cup. A Cricket Australia spokesperson… Read More ›