The US people head for the polls on Tuesday faced with the difficult responsibility of deciding how they want their country to fall screaming into hopeless oblivion. “The nation must choose wisely between wretched despair and calamitous dissolution,” said President… Read More ›
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Man Without Gun Causes Panic At Trump Rally
Donald Trump was bundled from the stage by the Secret Service at his Nevada rally after reports that a man in the crowd was not carrying a gun. “We were afraid that a member of the audience might have been… Read More ›
Reptillians Despair At Not Finding Better Candidate Than Hillary Clinton
The Reptillians have admitted that for a shadowy organisation that controls the world it could have selected a much better candidate for President than Hillary Clinton. “With the entire resources of the United Nations at our disposal and the ability… Read More ›
Trump Told To Stare Straight Ahead And Think About The Rabbits
Donald Trump’s campaign manager has asked him to look away from her and think about the rabbit farm they’re going to start once the election is over. “Guys like us that want to make America great again, we’re the loneliest… Read More ›
Sexual Harassment Tapes Convinces Last Wavering Douche To Get Behind Trump
The release of a video from 2005 showing the presidential candidate making lewd remarks about women is the straw that broke the camel’s back in making America’s last undecided douche throw his support behind Donald Trump. “Incredible as it may… Read More ›
Hillary Clinton Leads Most Boring And Predictable Presidential Campaign On Record
The 2016 American presidential campaign has panned out as predicted with long time favourite Hillary Clinton maintaining a healthy 12 point lead over her Republican opponent, obscure New York businessman Don Trump. “We’ve been hard pressed to find anything at… Read More ›