Missing Teen Feared To Have Joined ISIS Found Drinking On Oval

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Admitting his alibi “seriously overshot the mark” a Sydney teenager has been grounded indefinitely after it was discovered he only told his parents he was in Syria so he could attend a friend’s birthday party.

An international investigation involving the AFP, ASIO and DFAT was launched on Friday night after the 16 year old from Sydney’s northern beaches sent a text message to his parents that read,

“I have joined my brothers in the fight against western infidels. I will see you in paradise.”

Authorities became suspicious of the message’s sincerity after later social media posts showed the teen doing beer bongs and playing “goon of fortune” on what intelligence experts determined was the Manly High School cricket pitch.

A rescue was finally deemed unnecessary when at 12:45am the boy called his parents to plead for a lift home from the train station.

While the teen has apologized for the deception he has so far been reluctant to accept full responsibility.

“Listen, I’ve like, studied really hard all year and it’s total bullshit that I’m not allowed to party with my mates. It’s like my parents don’t remember what it was like to be young or something.”

The boy’s parents told The (Un)Australian they’re disappointed with their son.

“Of course we’re upset. I mean, we don’t condone radical Islam but it was relieving to think he might be passionate about something other than Call of Duty,” said the boy’s father.

Under the Government’s new anti-terror laws the boy’s passport has been cancelled and his Xbox privileges revoked.

Matthew Brinsden



Categories: News, World

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