‘We Did It!’ Daniel Andrews Wins Victorian Election, Which We Always Supported


Daniel Andrews, the man we’ve obviously always supported during this election, so much so that it would be foolish to go through our archives to try and find evidence against that claim, has taken the Victorian Labor Party to an unprecedented victory over the first term Coalition government.

As predicted by The (un)Australian in previous articles that can not be linked to at the moment because of an unfortunate bug with our website, only Mr Andrews had the know-how, the intelligence, and the rugged good looks to pull Victoria out of the black hole that was the Napthine government.

As surely as our readers have short-term memories, Mr Andrews managed to secure the support of the Victorian Employers Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Environment Victoria, and The Wilderness Society. Appealing to business, environment and workers made Mr Andrews’ vision for Victoria more difficult to beat than trying to get Google to delete its historical caches of your website.

Some critics of The (un)Australian are accusing us of jumping onto the Daniel Andrews bandwagon after Denis Napthine’s coalition lost the election, pointing to articles like “East West Link Greatest Project Since Time Immemorial” where we referred to Daniel Andrews’ opposition to the plan as “a form of public suicide so combustible he must be protesting the oppression of Buddhists by the Vietnamese government”.

However, in The (un)Australian’s defence, at the time of publishing the article we did not realise the East West Link was so unpopular and also that article never existed which is why if you follow the link https://theunaustralian.net/2014/08/28/east-west-link-greatest-project-since-time-immemorial you now get a 404 error like you always would have.

The Victorian Liberal Party has criticised the Abbott government for the Coalition’s loss, calling the results more a referendum on the federal LNP than on the state LNP. We however disagree. Victorians were clearly sick of the state’s AAA Standards and Poor’s rating as well as the predicted budget surpluses. The Victorian people’s love affair with the strong protector of our coastal borders and slayer of the beloved national broadcaster is stronger than ever. [Note to editor, if the Abbott government loses re-election, come back and delete this entire paragraph.]

If there is one thing that is clear from this election result, it’s that we did it! The (un)Australian played a key role in Victoria’s political future and has once again proven that it’s a completely relevant and beloved newspaper.

Matthew Farthing


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Categories: Opinion, Politics, State

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