No Beard, No Tattoos, No Job!

hipster cafe

A hole in the wall coffee shop, located in a hidden alley-way, behind a warehouse, next to a train line, in the inner city Sydney suburb of Marrickville has this week been accused of discrimination after refusing to hire 19 year old aspiring barista , Matthew Smythe-Jones.

The café’s reasoning for not hiring Smythe-Jones was his absence of beard and tattoos, his not being a member of a band or aspiring writer and his arriving for his job interview dressed in a suit and tie.

A spokesperson for the café told The (un) Australian “Look how could we hire him? Our clientele have an expectation that their coffee is made by a dude with a beard and tattoos or a girl with a shaved head, tattoos and facial piercings, if we hire a clean shaven bloke people will get suspicious, and he’s not even in a band, what are we going to talk to him about, coffee?”

Smythe-Jones has always dreamed of being a barista,  he studied in Italy at one of the world’s leading coffee schools and hoped his 4 years of experience working at McDonald’s would stand him in good stead of landing a job. However it seems the opposite is true, with the café manager spitting on his resume upon reading of his time working at McDonald’s.

“McDonald’s is a corporation, that is destroying the amazon and our kids by teaching them that clowns should be trusted when we all know clowns are evil!” Said the café’s spokesperson.

The café is facing legal action over the discrimination however they don’t plan to fight it but rather shut up shop and open up a new pop-up café on a disused fire-trail in the Blue Mountains.

Mark Williamson


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