UN Warns of Global Warming Catastrophe if Courtney Love Burns Her Dolce & Gabbana Collection

Courtney love

United Nations Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon says Courtney Love must not burn her excessive Dolce & Gabbana collection if the world is to avoid the worst impacts of climate change, saying it could arrive a century earlier than modeling without this latest threat indicates.

Ms Love has long been a fan of the Italian designers but after singer Elton John brought attention to an until-then largely unread magazine interview last weekend, the widow of Nirvana front-man, Kurt Cobain was inchoate with rage.

Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana called gay adoption “unnatural” and the children of same-sex couples “synthetic” in the interview which had been read by at most four people including Love and John until the Streisand-Effect boosted its online views to well over 17 trillion by the start of Monday night’s Q&A.

The (un) Australian has decided not to link to the original article as a matter of principle (they’ve never linked to us).

Ms Love told her 1.2 million twitter followers, “I’m just beyond words and emotions”, sparking fears she would indeed act on her threats and plunge the world into a series of simultaneous floods, droughts, and cyclones – even in the nicer parts of cities in the developed world.

The United Nations is performing a delicate balancing act between appearing to support the sensitivities of prominent supporters of liberal causes such as the rights of rich, white LGBTI people to marry and adopt children and maintaining its long-held position of tacit support for the state-sanctioned murder of poor, brown LGBTI people in the developing world.

Australia’s Chief Scientist Professor Ian Chubb says the fabrics favoured by Dolce and Gabbana could pose an even greater threat to Australia and urged foreign minister Julie Bishop to “press upon Ms Love in the strongest possible terms the undesirability of such an action.” Ms Bishop responded with emojis of a pair of hands in prayer, an eggplant and a smiley face with its tongue poking out.

Tim Govers 

http://www.twitter.com/timgovers

 

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