Pauline Hanson Officially Halal Certified


Former Dancing With The Stars contestant, fish and chip shop owner and member of parliament, Pauline Hanson, has today been officially Halal certified, a move which has outraged Hanson and mightily confused her legions of followers.

Hanson was initially perplexed when The (un)Australian contacted her to tell her she was now officially Halal certified, as she believed Halal certification was only applicable to the preparation of food. However after we were asked to please explain, we told her that Halal also covers items mentioned in the Quran, as Hanson is not mentioned in the Quran she is officially Halal certified.

Ms Hanson told The (un)Australian “I am appalled and dismayed, I’m not racist but this is just not on, the only sensible course of action is for people to boycott me. I shouldn’t be listened to and my assets should be scrutinised to ensure I am not funding terrorism.”

We endeavoured to contact the organisers of #ReclaimAustralia for comment as they had arranged to for Hanson to speak at their little Brisbane get together however they asked us to call back later in the week as the History Channel was broadcasting Hitler documentaries at the time we called.

Mark Williamson

Categories: Politics

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