The Australian government has refused to comment on allegations that it gave the people smuggling scandal a sum of $30,000 to turn around and stop being an issue.
“We can neither confirm or deny any details about operations of the government’s spin doctoring program”, said special envoy for citizenship and community bafflement Philip Ruddock.
“But if we were, which we’re not, but if we were, it would save the government a lot of money on having to cook up some other issue to distract the voting public from this current debacle.”
“Surely if the government starts paying the people smuggling scandal to go away then other scandals will just start lining up demanding their share of the cash”, said opposition leader Bill Shorten.
“I’d like the government to offer an explanation as to why the gay marriage bill was last seen partying till all hours in a Bali nightspot and driving off in a flash new Lamborghini?”
The latest opinion poll is not encouraging for the government as it showed Tony Abbott trailing Bill Shorten, Count Dracula and Ivan Milat as preferred prime minister.
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