Tony Abbott Opposes Leap Second Being Added, Wants Time To Move Backwards


The world is counting down to the leap second being added to our clocks at the very of end on June 30, but Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott is asking the CSIRO to remove 189216000 seconds from Australian clocks, taking Australia back to the year 1955.

The Prime Minister’s office announced the joint initiative between the CSIRO and NASA, saying: “The federal government is proud to announce that it has set aside 6 billion dollars over the next 12 months for the joint venture. We are hoping to take Australia back the Halcyon Days of Robert Menzies, this is when Australia was the real Australia that all Australians were proud to call Australia.”

“Once the boffins have worked out how to do this we will return good old fashioned values back to Australia, like male and female only marriage, an economy based on wool and coal, ladies staying at home cooking and cleaning and the White Australia policy.”

Other changes being tabled by the Prime Minister in the future 1955 include: reverting the decimal currency back to pounds and pence; relaunching the Australian automobile industry, scrapping renewable energy and free education, and banning sex before marriage.

It is believed the government has been experimenting with time travel for some time by re-introducing Knighthoods, denying climate change, commenting on the sex appeal of female political candidates and winding back the internet to dial-up speeds.

Gus W. Templeton

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Categories: Science

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