Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has moved to strongly reject an endorsement from the controversial white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan, on the grounds “we don’t need these wishy-washy liberal types. We’re here to make America great, not quiver before the politically correct elite.”
Trump faced repeated questions from CNN on Sunday after KKK legendary wizard David Duke publicly endorsed his campaign. The millionaire reality TV star-turned politician answered insisting he “didn’t know enough” about the topic.
However, a spokesperson for the Trump campaign told The (un)Australian that Mr Trump had since looked into the politics of the KKK and “learned more than enough” to know he wants nothing to do with a group he condemned for their “sickeningly liberal” views.
Ignoring a question about whether or not Trump’s investigation involved simply scouring his father’s old KKK joiner pack, the spokesperson highlighted as key KKK policy failures the group’s silence on the whether to slaughter Muslims with bullets dipped in pig’s blood and its apparent refusal to retweet a single quote from Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini in the past week.
“Look,” the spokesperson elaborated, “we’ll make America great again. Water boarding is too soft. Mexicans are rapist scum. It is not a toupee.
“How many times do we have to make it clear that we’ll make America great again and that it’s not a toupee?”
For its part, the KKK took the rejection on the chin, with a spokesperson noting: “Look, we go back a long way with Donald’s dad, so we thought we’d give him a helping hand, but he was a always bit too radical for us. We’re pretty racist, but I mean all Mexicans must be driven out? Sure they are inferior, welfare-sponging parasites, but I’ll tell ya, no-one looks after a garden like our Felipe. You should see his work with roses! Me and the wife we’d be lost without him.”