Peter Dutton Deported To Nauru For Taking Job Of Literate And Numerate Australian


Having initially praised Immigration Minister Peter Dutton for doing an “outstanding” job, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has done an about face and sacked and deported Mr Dutton to Nauru for taking the job of a literate and numerate white Australian adult.

Documents leaked to The (un)Australian show immigration staffers  have been warning the PM’s office for some time that the immigration minister was not up to the job. Some of their concerns included receiving memos written in crayon, a piece of artwork on the staff fridge allegedly finger painted by Mr Dutton and a budget blow out on Little Golden Books.

Some of the more damaging claims include that donated toys and sporting equipment earmarked for children in detention centers had to first pass via Mr Dutton’s office. None of the toys, including Lego, Play Dough and Barbie Dolls, have been seen since.

It is believed that the federal police would not be charging Mr Dutton for the suspected theft as they were treating him as a minor. Asked to comment about his sacking and deportation, Mr Dutton replied “I’m going on a big plane”. Pushed to elaborate, he told The (un)Australian that “Anthony was his favourite wiggle”.

Gus W Templeton

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Categories: Politics

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