The AFL has announced a new womens league will kick off in 2017 with Melbourne, the Western Bulldogs, Carlton, Collingwood, Fremantle, the Brisbane Lions, Greater Western Sydney and Adelaide part of the eight-team competition.
Eddie McGuire who is the womens liaison officer for Collingwood said; “These young girls will walk in and collect 125 years of Collingwood blood sweat and tears and we are looking forward to handing it over. Rather than players sexual harassing females in pubs and bars, or threatening female journos with drowning, we can now move all of that in house. Once these shelia’s are on the payroll, there will be zero complaining if they wanna keep their jobs, in 10 years time we’ll look back and say, why didn’t we do this 50 years ago?“
While the AFL has announced the new womens league, there are still some details to be finalised, like facilities, training and pay. Eddie McGuire told The (un)Australian; “I can announce a fix to those problems immediately , the women will get the change rooms and hit the paddock first and when the guys are playing the girls can then clean and vacuum the change rooms, iron the guys uniforms and do their laundry, as for pay we will be finding jobs for the girls in our clubs, working as tea ladies, dish washers, waitresses and bar maids”
The AFL have started recruiting for the women’s league by scouting out local strip clubs, shopping centres, modeling agencies and hooters restaurants. Though not yet announced officially the AFL footy show’s Sam Newman is tipped to be President of the new league.
Gus W Templeton
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